It was miraculous. I woke up in the hospital attached to all these machines but had actually simply slept for 24 hours. Soon after this I met Joe (my husband). He was kind and gentle, something that I hadn't come across before. We moved in together and I was settled for a while. We tried for a baby, but because I had previously had cervical cancer I had fertility problems.

After many tests – each one more invasive –I became pregnant, but then I miscarried. More tests and more treatment followed. Eight years later I became pregnant with twins but miscarried quite late on. I was at rock bottom at this point. I even blamed God! We had our twins, Matthew and Jodie, cremated and had to contact our local church about putting a memorial stone in their cemetery.

At this point I have no doubt that people started praying for us. I awoke one Sunday morning and announced I wanted to go to church! I was surprised when we went it – people were playing guitars, they looked happy! There were a few 'nutters' with their arms up. I just stayed clear of them! We attended church intermittently for the next couple of years during which time, through more treatment, I gave birth to Billy (now 12) and Dulcie (now 10).

Then one Sunday morning in Church God zapped me! We were sat on the very back pew as usual, and at the end of the service the speaker said, "Let’s pray!" I bowed my head and started planning Sunday dinner. Then the speaker said, "Let's ask Jesus into our hearts!" I wondered, "What does that mean?" and God showed me. As I sat head bowed and eyes closed, it was as though someone physically pushed me back. I immediately opened my eyes, but there was no-one there. Then I felt, coming from my heart and extending throughout my whole body, down my legs and arms - pure and perfect love. I didn't have a clue what had happened, but I knew it was nothing of this world! I didn't say anything to anyone, for this was too weird!

But soon after this amazing experience the church ran an Alpha course. I was presented with evidence of Jesus, week by week the scales were falling from my eyes. And then Holy Spirit day arrived. I believed Jesus was who He claimed to be and accepted Him - I said sorry for all the things I had done wrong and I invited Him into my life. It was amazing, not only was I offered a personal relationship with Jesus but the promise of the Holy Spirit - the counsellor, the guide. Did I want the Holy Spirit, God's love - power - peace inside me? Did I want God's Spirit inside me to love others, heal others, cast out demons, speak in tongues? You bet I did! That day I met my Saviour - Jesus Christ, and was sealed with His Spirit. My Saviour had saved me from eternity in hell.

Quickly the Lord began restoring me and turning my life around. He has done so much in my life that I would need to write a book to tell of all the awesome, amazing and miraculous things He has done. I began a college course and even had a Christian child-minder. He had His hand on us in such a mighty way. My husband had a stroke but the Lord brought about a miraculous recovery. The Lord moved us to Wrexham shortly after where I did a degree in Fine Art.

Everything's not perfect now - I'm still a long way from what God wants me to be - but by His grace and mercy I'm a lot closer than I was! I have a hope now that is so real, I have 'worth', because Jesus loves me, He died for me. He's got a plan for my life - He's in control! After years of being told I was useless and unwanted I can rest in the arms of the Creator of the whole universe - my Father, who loves me with an everlasting and perfect love. Almighty God is at my side - guiding and directing me.

My mess of a life has been transformed. When you're in as much darkness as I was in - the light is awesome when you see it! I praise God for His mercy and His love, and look forward, expectantly, to this new page in the Lamb's book, where He has brought us to St. John's.

Denise Roach