World War two and I arrived almost simultaneously. My parents had just returned from what was then the Belgian Congo (Zaire) where they had been working as missionaries. They had gone out as newly-weds in 1926. Now, with the addition of three daughters, they were forced to return home because of my mother's ill health.

They settled in Devon, Dad went back to work for the Midland Bank, from which he had resigned 14 years before, and I was born!

Exeter suffered quite severe bombing in the '40s. My sister tells me that during air-raids at night, huddled in our shelter, the family would sing 'Silent Night' to drown the sound of explosions and keep baby brother from crying! My worst memories from the war were that sweets were rationed!

The Bible was central to our family's way of life. We lived under what nowadays would be seen as an extremely narrow regime. It was church three times on Sundays, and no noisy games allowed. The cinema, playing cards and dancing were definite evils to be avoided.

For me, God was an accepted part of our life. I knew a lot about Him and could quote bits of the Bible, which we were encouraged to memorise. I knew the Bible said 'God is love', and it talked a lot about His loving us. However, my experience was of insecurity and emptiness. When I was about seven, my eldest sister decided I should 'ask Jesus into my heart'. I prayed a prayer after her, but my heart still felt empty.

Sadly, my mother's bi-polar condition worsened, so there were turbulent years for the whole family.

From school I went to college in Bristol to train as a teacher. I gravitated to the Christians in College but was confronted with a crisis of identity. Was I a Christian? It proved a painful first year wrestling with inner conflicts.

At the start of the second year, quite a number of new Christians arrived. One in particular stood out. It was not just her auburn hair and blue eyes. She was very certain about her relationship to Jesus. We had some lengthy discussions, and for the first time I was able to share the turmoil I was feeling.

My head knowledge about grace and forgiveness began to change into heart understanding. For the first time I came to really believe and feel that God did love me, and that because of Jesus' death on the Cross I was forgiven and accepted.

My third year was spent in France as an assistant teacher of English in a French school. I proved God's grace straight away. I discovered a little French Baptist Church about 20 miles from the "collège".

Knocking nervously on the next door "presbytère", I was greeted by the pastor's wife. It turned out that she had just said goodbye to their only son who was now studying in the USA. She saw me as God's provision – and it was certainly His provision for me. I learnt so much, over the year, from that loving Spirit-filled church.

I returned to marry my auburn-haired "counsellor"! Six years later we had added three children, and we were living in Kent. We continued to prove God's faithfulness. In 1980 Carol was diagnosed with cancer and given six months to live.

However, God spoke to her one night saying, "I will keep you alive". We shared it with the family and agreed to trust God rather than the doctors. God kept her alive for 17 more years!

There is much more to the story, but one Bible verse has been a beacon for me; Rom. 8:28: "God works in everything for the good of those who love him and are called according to his purpose for them". It's true!

John Hodgkinson